Try being useless for a while

There’s a pattern I keep noticing: in myself, and in many women I work with in Data & AI leadership. At some point, we start measuring our worth through usefulness. We assess how much we contribute, how much we help, and how much we move things forward.

Many of us didn’t just arrive in leadership roles by chance. We got here by being reliable, stepping in when needed, taking ownership, and holding things together when they could have easily fallen apart. Over time, this turns into something internal, almost like a quiet rule we don’t question anymore: always be useful.

This rule doesn’t switch off when life finally gives you space.

photo by Maria Kostyleva (IG: masha_and_film)

The Challenge of Unused Time

A friend of mine recently found herself in a situation that, for many working parents, feels almost unreal. She had the house entirely to herself for almost a week, with the kids away, no immediate responsibilities, and no one asking for anything. Yet, instead of slowing down, she filled those days with renovation projects, gardening, and fixing things around the house. She was constantly moving and constantly improving something, all while listening to motivational audiobooks in the background.

Does this sound familiar?

For many women, especially those who have been “the reliable one” for years, being still without a clear purpose doesn’t feel like rest. It feels uncomfortable, almost like something is missing. Time seems to slip away without being used properly.

Justifying Rest

So, rest starts needing justification:

• A walk should clear your head.

• A book should teach you something.

• A hobby should develop you.

  
  

Even doing nothing should at least be “recharging,” because otherwise, what’s the point?

The Freedom of Being Useless

There is no obligation to always be useful: not constantly, not perfectly, and not even most of the time. Sometimes, it’s not just acceptable but genuinely necessary to be completely, unapologetically useless. Spend time without turning it into an investment, without optimizing it, and without attaching a purpose to it or asking what it will give you later.

Those are the moments when your mind finally gets space to breathe — not to solve, not to deliver, not to improve — but simply to exist.

Interestingly, those are often the moments when something else returns as well: clarity, ideas, and a sense of yourself that gets lost when everything becomes about output and usefulness.

Embracing a New Perspective

If this feels familiar, it might be worth experimenting with switching that “always be useful” mode off. Not because you’re lowering your standards or becoming less ambitious, but because being constantly useful, composed, and exhausted was never the goal to begin with.

In the long run, getting yourself back is far more valuable than making every single moment count.

Conclusion: Finding Balance

Finding balance in our lives is essential. We must learn to embrace moments of stillness and allow ourselves to be unproductive. This is not a sign of weakness; it’s a path to rediscovering our true selves.

Let’s challenge the notion that our worth is tied to our usefulness. Instead, let’s celebrate our ability to simply be. After all, in the world of Data & AI, creativity and innovation often flourish in the spaces between productivity.

So, take a breath. Allow yourself to be useless for a while. You might just find that it’s the most productive thing you can do for your mind and spirit.

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