How to choose a right mentor

Mentoring often has this aura of magic around it.

You connect with a more experienced colleague and bam! — in one hour you walk away with all the answers to improve your professional life.

In reality, that’s a misconception. And it often ends in stories like this one someone shared on Reddit:

“𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑢𝑝 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑘𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝𝑓𝑢𝑙. 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡.”

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Unfortunately, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. Choosing the right mentor makes all the difference. Here are 3 steps to help you choose wisely:

1️⃣ 𝐁𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥

Do you truly want to break into AI, or are you mainly looking for a more secure and satisfying career path where you are?

It’s totally fine not to have a perfectly measurable goal. Sometimes just having someone who helps you sort through the ongoing mess at work is already valuable. Still, the clearer you are about what you want, the higher the chance you’ll find the right mentor.

And yes defining your professional goal can itself be a great topic for mentoring 😉

2️⃣ 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞

If your goal is to get hired as an ML Engineer at Nvidia, someone who works (or worked) at Nvidia is an ideal fit. If that’s not possible, look for someone close to that environment or role.

Transitioning from academia to industry? Talk to someone who has already made that move.

If you can’t find an exact match — or don’t have time to search — professional mentors can also be a great option. Many bring years of experience across different companies and situations and can still give highly relevant guidance, even without working at your dream company. They’re often expensive (150€+ per session), but the right mentor can be well worth it.

3️⃣ 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡

If you don’t feel comfortable discussing your doubts, mistakes, or real ambitions, mentoring sessions may stay polite — but they won’t be effective.

That’s why choosing a mentor within your current company can sometimes be tricky. If you worry that what you share might reach your manager, it’s natural to hold back. Without openness, conversations stay superficial — and that quickly becomes frustrating for both of you.

The right mentor is someone you can speak to openly, knowing the space is safe and confidential. That’s when mentoring starts to make a real difference.